Episode 5: “Call Me Your Biggest Fan”

Intro:

When I think about football, fantasy football comes to mind. And fantasy football makes me think about Call Me Kat. Roots of painful associations are growing deeper every week. Each blog post keystroke another synapse fired in the wrong direction, a buggy application of brainpower, a regretful opportunity cost of time that could have been spent learning or building something of merit.

But let's back up a bit. My interest in watching football has been on a downward trajectory for at least 5 years, since I was a junior in college. Realistically, it’s possible that living around 11 football-obsessed roommates conjured a phantom enjoyment and that the fading passion actually predates college entirely. In any case, we can certainly point to February 5, 2017 as the first definitive inflection point in this case study.

On that fateful day, I flew back home from Boston to Atlanta to be with my family and watch the Falcons play in the Super Bowl against the Patriots. It was the culmination of decades of pain for Atlanta sports, a beacon of hope for the 404. It was also my dad’s birthday. The Falcons had the most explosive offense in the league, and I boldly bet a substantial chunk of my savings on the game. When my beloved team endured the literal worst second half collapse in Super Bowl history, you can imagine my devastated shock. To add insult to injury, I was scheduled to take a red-eye to Boston that night to be back in time for Monday classes. The part of my amygdala that was reserved for emotional attachment to football was mercilessly plunged, and the pain spread wide and deep like a malignant cancer. Over time, visceral feelings about that night were slowly replaced by a thick layer of general detachment to watching sports. That brings us to today.

5 years later, and this punishment has all the qualities of a second inflection point in my relationship to watching sports. Each week of forcibly watching and writing about this tv show emboldens my distaste for the source of me having to do so, football. It's certainly a different flavor of inflection than the first edition - whereas one overtime drive caused my previous torment, this immolation is a slow burn. Social psychologists could use my story as primary source material on the consequences of single-event trauma vs chronic suffering.

Proof in point was my apathy towards the Super Bowl yesterday. This used to be an event I’d anticipate for weeks and dedicate my day (and the following day recovering) towards. Yesterday, I almost forgot it was happening and invited any possible distraction. I struggled to stay awake, and was glad when the game ended in regulation. As these malicious associations build with each episode of Call Me Kat, my interest in watching football seems more remote than I am in Guatemala right now. I’m beginning to wonder how much fantasy football I have left in me.

Episode Recap:

We open with Kat, Phil, and Randy taking whip cream shots in the kitchen.

They managed to extend this intro for a full 4 minutes. It’s unclear if the writers of this show are struggling to fill quota or actively looking to ruin my day. There are no other options.

Carter is hanging out with his son CJ on the cafe couch. He needs to head to work at the bar but CJ’s mom is busy. Randi is walking by and offers to watch CJ for him.

Carter’s bar is hosting a jingle contest sponsored by a local mechanic. Kat thinks Max should sign up, given his niche passion for writing jingles. Max says he’s not ready to perform his compositions in public.

Kat has made 3 separate 4th wall breaks so far, less than 10 minutes into the episode. These disappeared just long enough for me to forget about them, but they are very much back with a vengeance.

CJ and Randi are having a great time together. CJ comments that he likes Randi’s nails, and she offers to paint his in exchange for embarrassing stories about his dad. He agrees.

Phil is going to emcee Carter’s jingle contest. Kat’s mom is jealous and believes she would make a much better emcee.

Carter gets back from work at the bar to sees Randi painting CJ’s nails. Before CJ leaves, he comments that Carter and Randi should date. Carter hasn’t told his son that they already are. When CJ is gone, Carter asks Randi not to paint CJ’s nails again because he’s a boy. Randi says his backwards views are stupid and storms off.

Kat eavesdrops on Max working on a jingle at the bar. She walks in and continues urging him to perform. He reiterates that he’s not ready to perform his original work.

Kat and Phil are at the cafe. Kat tells Phil that she’s going to enter Max into the contest without him knowing. Phil gets a kick out of Kat saying she’s going to enter Max.

Kat’s mom goes upstairs to Kat’s bedroom and finds Randi pouting. Randi complains about Carter’s toxic masculinity. Kat’s mom says sometimes it takes time for people to come around, and that Randi should give Carter some time to change his mind.

Carter walks into the cafe and sees Phil. Phil already knows about what happened between Carter and Randi.

Word gets around fast in small towns like Louisville, especially when all 6 people in the town seem to only know those 6 people.

Carter says he’s trying to protect his son so he doesn't get picked on in school. Phil says “maybe if straight boys could wear nail polish then boys like me wouldn’t have been picked on as kids either.” Carter sees his point and says he never thought about it that way. Phil says “that’s because you never had to.” Carter has a change of heart and realizes he owes Randi an apology.

There can be no growth without change. Seeing minds/beliefs change real-time is one of my favorite experiences of life, and this was a powerful one to watch.

We’re at the jingle competition. Sheila has a sequin red dress on just in case they need a backup emcee.

Sheila is Kat’s mother’s name. It took me 5 episodes to realize this.

Flash forward to some pretty terrible jingle performances. Even by the show’s standard.

Yet another gratuitous 4th wall break.

Max’s name is announced as the next performer and he seems shocked. Kat tells him she entered him.

Tide commercial. The only thing capable of breaking peak cinematic suspense.

Max and Kat have an old school Western stare-off. Kat says she’ll perform her own jingle if he doesn’t. She starts to play the piano, and it’s awful, so he jumps on stage and says he’ll do it. He has clearly been practicing a jingle for the contest because he’s able to perform a catchy one on the fly.

Carter pulls Randi aside, and he apologizes for his take on boys wearing nail polish. He also asks her to apologize for calling him stupid before giving him a chance to change his mind. She does.

Several important phenomena happening at once here: person A realizes an issue with a prior belief; person B realizes the issue with prematurely chastising someone for said prior belief; direct, transparent communication enables defenses to be lowered in order to acknowledge and overcome these issues; AND we tackle a classic heteronormativity stigma. Good work CMK.

Back at the bar everyone is taking shots. Phil announces the winner and it’s Jimmy Paterson. Not Max. Max is upset and he leaves to change the keg. Kat swings by to check on him. He tells Kat that she overstepped her bounds by entering him without his consent and pleads that she let him share his music at his own pace. She apologizes and says she will try. Max follows up by saying thank you for believing in him so much, and that he did enjoy performing more than he expected.

The crew is sitting around the couch. Max gives Kat a flier that details his first ever live performance set. Meanwhile Carter tries to get Randi’s attention on his nails, which Phil has painted for him.

Clean ending to the ep. Until…

They all start waving to the camera and dancing.

Memorable Quote:

Carter to Max: “That song is so catchy it’s like herpes you can hum.”

Episode Score: 7/10

Takeaways:

• People can change their minds if they’re given the right time, space, and information to do so

• Nail polish can be a great way to express yourself and add an element to your fashion, regardless of who you are

• Try a form of empathy where others want to feel as much freedom in their lives as you desire for your own, even if that looks different