Episode 6: “Call Me Unfaithful”

Intro:

I’m 100% exhibiting bully psychology - channeling my rage from being bullied myself via this punishment and taking it out on a helpless victim in CMK. You won’t hear me stake cases for this show to receive any critical acclaim, but my critical commentary is caused by my vitriol about having to write these posts rather than any loathing for the show itself. CMK is designed to be wholesome. There are plenty of structural gaps and half-hearted plot lines, but it’s a low budget sitcom with low expectations to begin with. The show aims to teach viewers important lessons in a light, approachable way. I’ve learned very little and am yet to develop emotional attachment to anyone (except Phil, how can you not love Phil), but there is sincere effort behind the scenes to have a positive impact. Each character is genuinely kind and vulnerable. I wouldn’t want to be friends with any of them, but they mean well and I can respect that. I can understand how people could find this show heartwarming and possibly even educational. I have 0 inclinations as to who these people are, but I’m sure they exist somewhere. Anyways, I’m certainly not done lambasting CMK, but there are far worse television shows out there than Call Me Kat; CMK just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. CMK, the casting for this meta-drama took place beyond our control, and I was given the role of Bully. It is my duty to play the part. The best I can offer given the circumstances, the most I’m allowed to improvise within the margins, is to append Self-Aware to that title.

Episode Recap:

Kat is cooking dinner at her apartment while Randi searches online for places she can move. She is lamenting about how expensive every decent option is when Sheila walks in. Sheila is planning a trip to Bora Bora with her boyfriend Preston.

Oscar has the day off of work and is hanging at the cafe with Kat and Phil. He mentions plans to lift weights at the gym with Max and leaves just as Randi walks in. Randi tells Kat that she saw Preston (Sheila’s boyfriend) looking intimate with another woman. When Kat doesn’t believe her, Randi suggests that they spy on Preston to find out the truth. After some pleading, they agree to follow Preston as he leaves Sheila’s house that night.

Carter is at the gym with Max, struggling with a powerlift. Oscar enters the gym and easily lifts the same weight, mentioning that a lot of people have been ordering mattresses recently, so his deliveries have been making him strong.

UPS / Amazon delivery folks are the modern day farmers. Also, the acting by these guys lifting the dumbbell was worse than anything you’d see in an audition for a high school play. To build on the general indolence (yes double meaning here) of this scene, these 2 total power lifts appear to be the extent of their entire workout.

Carter is feeling threatened by Oscar’s presence at the gym, both for his sense of masculinity as well as his friendship with Max. Oscar suggests that the three of them try yoga.

Kat and Randi are waiting in hiding for Preston outside of Sheila’s house. When he gets into his car and starts driving, they stealthily pursue him in Kat’s car.

A bunch of excellent new ads enter the mix this episode. Apple. H&R block (did you know they offered free tax support?). Home Depot. We’re taken on a wild adventure from a toddler’s perspective in one commercial, jolted into space for the next, and then graciously educated about some of the best appliance deals available this side of the Mississippi. I need an app dedicated to one-click purchasing products from these ads. Nearly foaming at the mouth.

A full hour and plenty of mad-libs later, Kat and Randi are ready to give up on their espionage mission. At the last second, however, they see Preston park his car in front of an apartment. He gets out with a bouquet of flowers. Kat is still holding on the belief that Preston is not cheating, despite the writing on the wall.

Max, Carter, and Oscar arrive at the bar after yoga. Max is now obsessed with yoga but Carter is in pain, vowing never to try yoga again.

In order to further conduct her investigation, Randi rings the doorbell of the apartment in question, pretending to be delivering pizza. A woman wearing a sleek garment opens the door and says “Preston baby did we order pizza?” Kat is hiding in the bushes and hears the conversation. When they leave the apartment, Kat is upset about their discovery and Randi consoles her.

Carter has brought Phil to the gym since Max is at yoga with Oscar. They’re back at the powerlifting station, since this gym is exclusively designed for single reps of powerlifting. Carter coaches Phil and he’s ultimately able to do the lift. This will of course be the end of the workout.

We’re now at the cafe. Randi and Phil tell Kat that she needs to tell Sheila what they witnessed, but she doesn’t want to hurt Sheila. Just then Sheila walks in.

More new ads. T-Mobile, GrubHub, Downy Infusions, the whole works. They’re popping off today.

Kat sits Sheila down and shares the news that Preston is cheating. Sheila already knows, but she hasn’t told Preston that she’s aware of his double life. Kat asks why she continues to date him. She replies that nobody is perfect, she doesn’t like to be alone, she doesn’t want to be alone, and that they still have a good time together. Kat doesn't want her to settle for this type of situation. Sheila says that she doesn’t need someone better and tells Kat stop intruding in her love life. She leaves.

Given the progressive messages of the past couple episodes, I was expecting this episode would travel the road down normalizing unconventional, non-monogamous forms of relationships. They chose to follow a much more banal, though still very important message of maintaining dignity and self-respect instead. Note that these are not mutually exclusive messages.

Max and Carter are at the bar. Carter is upset that Max isn’t working out with him anymore. Max tells Carter that he’s still his best friend and to give Oscar a chance. They compromise with a decision to alternate between yoga and weightlifting every other week.

Kat and Randi are at Kat’s place. Sheila opens the door and tells them that she ended things with Preston. She asks if she can stay the night while Preston packs his things. She’s clearly sad but doesn't say anything more. At night, she joins Kat in bed and tells her that she loves her.

This is the first time we see Sheila so vulnerable. The words and acting were atypically kept to a minimum, and the subtlety and silence made space for the emotional elements to be more pronounced and poignant.

Who the hell turned on the turbo boosters for the ads today - Robot Wars, Dominos pizza with drooling cheese. T-mobile spot with next level animations. Subaru is inspiring me to be a better human being. Wow.

Everyone is at yoga. Kat falls over and manages to knock all 11 other people at the studio over. Everyone makes horrific transitions from their fallen positions on the ground using untrained, snake-like arm movements. It seems like they’re trying to incorporate some sort of Indian-style dancing because of the yogic setting. It hurts to even think about this scene while typing this out.

I feel personally targeted and attacked.

Episode Score: 4/10