Episode 7: “Call Me Cupcake”

There were originally 13 episodes commissioned for this season. I must have an arch-nemesis with strong ties to subpar television networks and a mission in life to ruin mine because the episode count for this season was recently upped to 16. This is like moving the finish line of a marathon to the 32.25 mile marker three-quarters of the way through the race. I tried to make the most of this sacko, I really did. 13 episode write-ups for a reputable show would be aggressive on its own, but 16 blog posts for "Call Me Kat" is enough to sever the last shred of soul I have left. There is no choice but to move on to Plan B. We're no longer trying to make this fun. There's no more bright side worth looking for. My average average word count for the first 6 posts was nearly 4x the required 500 word count minimum. Average time per post (including episode watch time, note-taking, intro write up, and editing) was just under 2 hours. For my own mental health and the physical well-being of those around me, it's time to stop overachieving. This is a pass-fail exam, and there's no extra credit. The ROI for bespoke blog posts is net negative. This is a cruel and unusual punishment, and machine-like procedures are required to face an inhumane set of obstacles. Moving forward, failure takes the form of any write-up over 750 words and 45 minutes total time.

Episode Recap:

Oscar drops off a package at the cafe for Randi. He shakes the package and knows exactly what it is - cotton balls and candles. An enviable trait he’s picked up as a UPS delivery man.

Sheila walks in, she’s still feeling lonely post-breakup. She’s no longer going to Bora Bora for the week (the trip she had planned to go on with Preston) because she doesn’t want to travel alone. Phil is hinting with decreasing subtlety that he could go with her. Sheila finally gets the hint and invites him to join. He’s ecstatic. Kat needs to find a replacement at the cafe, and Oscar offers to take vacation days from work in order to take on the extra shifts.

Very progressive PTO policies at the Kat Cafe.

Cut to Oscar working at the cafe with Kat, and he’s having a great time. Oscar is making a lot of changes / efficiency improvements, like rearranging the placement of straws for a quicker checkout process. Randi is getting annoyed by all of the changes given that Oscar seems to be overstepping his boundaries. On the other hand, Kat appreciates the changes and Randi thinks she is seeing Oscar through rose-colored glasses.

Max and Carter are at the bar. Max is eating junk food and thinks he’s on a downward health spiral. He says he’s going to do a 3-day juice cleanse, and Carter thinks Max won’t be able to do it. Max says he could do it more easily than Carter, since Carter is addicted to sugar. They decide to do the cleanse together as a challenge to see who will break first. The loser has to clean the deep fryer and handle all vomit incidents for the next month.

Sheila and Phil reach Bora Bora. They’re at the reception desk and realize the bill is on Preston’s card. They decide to upgrade to the most expensive suite, and Phil unnecessarily pretends to be Preston.

Oscar has just sold 400 cupcakes over the phone for a big event the next day. He thinks he’s won the kat cafe lottery, when Randi tells him that the cupcakes are Phil’s recipe and the most cupcakes they’ve ever sold is 82 - disaster! They’ll need to stay up all night to fill the order.

Unclear why they don’t just call back to let the group know they can’t actually fill the order.

They try calling Phil but he and Sheila are getting expensive massages (on Preston’s dime) and he’s not looking at his phone. They find Phil’s recipe book and start to bake. Oscar and Kat have a small argument about whether to bake small batches or as a single big batch. Oscar pushes for one big patch and Kat eventually acquiesces.

Max and Carter are doing the cleanse and clearly struggling.

Kat, Randi, and Oscar try their first batch of cupcakes and they taste awful. Kat finally gets a hold of Phil and he tells her that he had encoded the recipe book so that no thieves could steal the recipes. Tablespoons are teaspoons and “dash of love” means nutmeg. Phil tells Kat they should have just done the bake in small batches, and Kat rolls her eyes since this is what she wanted to do originally. Tensions are building.

Side note: Phil is my spirit animal.

Randi and Kat recruit Max and Carter to help with the cupcake making - given their juice cleanse and sugar addictions this is especially difficult.

Sheila and Phil are chatting. Sheila is sad about being alone. Life didn’t turn out the way she wanted. Phil points out that Sheila has had many happy moments and that it’s not all bad, and that each day she’ll feel a little better for a little longer. They order champagne.

Back at the cafe kitchen, everyone is hard at work and having a miserable time except for Oscar, who is very enthusiastic about the baking process. Kat says his positivity is starting to get annoying, ironically. Oscar comes over to Kat to suggest a better piping technique for the cupcake icing. She finally explodes at him for trying to fix everything that doesn’t need to be messed with. The fight escalates and Kat throws a cupcake at Oscar, who returns the favor. Soon enough it’s a full blown food fight with the cupcakes they’ve been working hard to bake all day. Cupcakes somehow end up in Max and Carter’s mouths, ending their bet.

Kat and Oscar are back at her apartment. Oscar apologizes for being such a tryhard. He says he’s obsessive about organization and gets carried away at times. Kat also apologizes for not alerting him sooner about her budding resentment. Kat says she’s not used to fighting - her parents never fought and she gets scared about it. Oscar says this was barely a fight but even when there are bigger ones things will be ok because their relationship is solid. They kiss and head back downstairs.

The next day at the cafe - they’ve received a review for the cupcakes. Everyone gathers round to read the anticlimactic write-up: “great cupcakes.”

Sheila and Phil walk in the door after their trip, so Oscar’s help at the cafe is over. Randi has come around to some of his improvements but is glad that he’s no longer working there. Everyone starts throwing stuffed animal cupcakes around the cafe and the episode ends.

Memorable Quote:

Oscar to Kat: “You gotta rock the boat sometimes or it will fill up with resentment and sink to the bottom of the ocean.”

Episode Score: 7/10